The First Man to Fall in Love
By Rev. Thomas E. Allen
“Adam
and Eve were a rowdy couple – they raised a little Cain.” “Adam was created first because it took Eve
so long to get made up.” “They were the
first Russians: Adam and Eve had no clothes to wear, no roof over their heads,
only one apple between them, and they called it paradise!” “Adam was the first electronics engineer –
he provided spare parts for a loudspeaker.”
And
so it goes. “Adam and Eve” jokes could
fill a book. But along with humorous notions
surrounding these two special people, there are some serious lessons to be
learned. Adam was the first man to
“fall in love,” and as such, he can provide insights concerning love
relationships.
Immediately,
some of you may balk at the phrase “fall in love.” You probably prefer to think in terms of “growing” in love. I could agree with you if it were not for
the words use in Genesis 2:23. A Hebrew
scholar once told me that the most liberal rendering of this verse would be:
“At last I found you!”
Regardless
of the translation, it is abundantly clear that Adam fell dramatically in love
with Eve from the first moment he saw her.
In Genesis 2, Adam was naming the various pairs of animals, noting that
each were perfectly matched, when he realized there was no suitable helper for
himself (verse 20). So when Eve finally
was presented to Adam, he knew that she was “just right.”
There
is ample evidence that all of this did not just “happen” to Adam. Certain things took place in his heart that
prepared him for “falling in love.” As
we examine the story of this first marriage, we will see some vital lessons for
both single and married Christians.
Bear
in mind the context. We are looking at
“pre-fall” Adam and Eve – at things that took place before those ominous words
of Genesis 3:1, “Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals
the Lord God had made” (NIV). And we
all know what happened after Satan tempted the first two humans.
Prior
to the Fall of man, however, we see Adam as both a loving and obedient
creature. Moses, the author of Genesis,
paints tender scenes of the creature and his Creator as they walked and talked
in the Garden of Eden. Adam responded
with affection and enthusiasm to the various directives from God.
Total
love and full obedience characterized Adam’s relationship with God. He was prepared to love Eve completely
because he had first learned to love God wholeheartedly. Adam was ready to meet her needs because he
had known a relationship of submission before His Creator.
So
it must be with us. We cannot love a
human being as we ought until our love for and obedience to God is firmly
established. Our marriage here on earth
will not work if our marriage to Christ is what it ought to be. Rather than asking – “how’s your love life?”
we should be asking, “How is your love relationship with Jesus Christ?”
If
we are not in a loving and obedient relationship with Christ, we have no basis
for dating, engagement or marriage. Genuine Christian dating and marriage alliances must be founded
first on faithfulness to Christ.
An
Anonymous author has captured the essence of this truth:
Everyone longs to give himself or herself completely to
someone – to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly
and exclusively. But to a Christian,
God says: “No, not until you’re satisfied and fulfilled with living a life
loved by Me alone. I love you, My
child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned
for you. You will never be united with
another until you are united with Me, exclusive of any other desires or
longings. I want you to stop planning
and wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing – one
that you cannot imagine. I want you to
have the best. Please allow Me to bring
it to you.
“Don’t be anxious and don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things you think
you want. Just keep looking off and
away, up to Me, or you’ll miss what I have to show you.
“And when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love
far more wonderful than any you would ever dream. I am working this minute to have both of you ready at the same
time. You see, until you are both ready
and satisfied exclusively wiht Me and the life I’ve prepared for you, you won’t
be able to experience the love that exemplified your relationship with Me – and
this is perfect love.
“And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful
love. I want you to see in the flesh a
picture of your relationship with Me.
Know that I love you. I am God
Almighty. Believe and be satisfied.”
There
are many disillusioned married couples.
Before marriage they said, “I’ll never be complete without a
partner.” They assumed that a wedding
would resolve their secret, personal problems, when it actually revealed the
true depth of those hidden dilemmas.
Allow
me to pop a few romantic bubbles. We
can live without everyone and everything but Jesus Christ. It is our relationship with Him that matters
above else. If the Lord Jesus is our
first and best love, we are prepared to enter a love relationship with another
human being. But any other arrangement
will spell disaster.
This
is why pastors constantly are urging people to make a total commitment to
Christ. Nothing else really matters
until that issue is completely settled.
I
can remember my feelings of disgust with speakers who would say, “You’re not ready
for marriage until you’re ready to be single!”
In my mind I would argue, Isn’t God the One who said that it’s not
good for a man to be alone? But I
was missing the point. The Lord wanted
me to be complete in Him. He was to be
the One who met my deepest needs.
Is
Christ truly your all-in-all? Can you
say with Paul, “Christ is my life”?
This is the proper relationship with God that will prepare you for
falling in love.
“So
the Lord God caused the man to fall into deep sleep” (verse 21). Adam did not argue with God about the
matter. Nor did God have to force Adam
to obey Him. Rather, we see the image
of restful creature relaxing the arms of his trustworthy Creator. It is the picture of confidence and security.
Resting
in the Lord is great preparation for falling in love. Are you resting in the Lord or wrestling with the
Lord? Are you resting in the
Lord or rushing in the Lord?
There must be a calmness, a serenity about the Christian who would know
the will of God concerning a mate. It
is the assurance of knowing that “no good thing does he withhold from those
whose walk is blameless” (Psalm 84:11).
It is the knowledge that “my God will meet all [my] needs according to
his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).
Impatience
in relationship often signals serious trouble ahead. The person who just “can’t wait” for sex is often the man or
woman who “can’t wait” to have an extramarital affair a few years after the
wedding. And then he or she “can’t
wait” to get a divorce and marry someone else.
Is
there a sense of settled resting in your life?
Are you at peace with God’s prohibitions as well as His promises? You should never relax in the arms of some
man or woman until you are first resting in the arms of God. A proper relationship with God and a
predominant rest with God led Adam into a proper relationship with Eve.
As
Adam loved and obeyed God, he found Him to be entirely trustworthy. God promised and He delivered.
When
a man and woman are properly related to God, completely resting in Him, then
they are ready for each other. This is
“Divine Mathematics”: 1 whole person +
1 whole person = 1. It is not two “half
people” completing each other’s puzzle.
Rather, it is two people, who, as individuals, are complete in Christ,
bringing their lives into oneness with each other and with the Lord.
When
husbands and wives have found their source of life in Christ, they have the
never-failing Lord to turn to when human failure overwhelms them. This is the beauty of finding our ultimate
fulfillment in our relationship with Jesus Christ.
God
will hurt us to help us in this area of love.
He will allow our hearts to break over human relationships that fall
apart on the way to what we thought would be a wedding. The Lord will not tolerate a rival lover
indefinitely. He must be and will be
our first and best love. No human
relationship will be allowed to interfere if we want to be all for Jesus.
I had my own wedding planned for the summer of 1976 – right after my graduation from college. The only problem was I was not even dating anyone by that time! I thought I could have any woman I pleased, but it became evident that I had not pleased any. It took three years for God to bring me to a place where I was willing to be His regardless of my marital status. Looking back now, I can say that it was certainly worth the wait.
Here
are a few questions for the single person:
Are you trying to put together a serious love relationship while
displacing Christ from the throne of your life? Would you be willing to submit totally to His plan for your
future even if that means waiting patiently for the right man or woman? Will you accept His great love even if it
comes in the form of a severed dating relationship or engagement?
What
about those of us who are married? Do
we place undue burdens on our spouses to fulfill needs that only God can
satisfy? Are we leaning too heavily on human
support systems? Is Christ truly the
anchor and supply for our daily life?
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Reprinted by permission from author