It Wasn’t God’s Will

 

 

Have you ever believed that something was God's will and then later discovered that was not the case?

 

1.     What was the thing about?

2.     Why did you believe it was God's will?

3.     How did you know later that it wasn't God's will?

4.     How did this experience affect your faith?

5.     Looking back at your experience, what were the mistakes you made in evaluating God's will?

6.     Today, how do you know if something is God’s will?

 

 

 

 

1. What was the thing about?

I had prayed and I thought that for sure the Lord's hand was on this as I felt that everything was going smoothly and my heart was in it.  It was regarding some one I had started to talk to.  We would pray together and our decision to take a serious step was under way.  We bought the rings and my parents were in agreement.  Later his parents came and things started to change, I asked him if he had assurance from God about this relationship, and he said no.  At that point I started to question every thing.  My assurance can only count for 50% of the whole answer, as the other person has to know what God wants for their life, and from their we serve to confirm and reinforce each other.  I spoke with my pastor and my family to ask for advice, and we prayed.  Within a few weeks the relationship was over.  It was a great shock to my faith and to my mother’s.  Because my mother in the beginning of the relationship had a vision from God that he is the one.  These events caused my mom to lose faith, and me too in a way.  I was in this state for a year or more.

 

2. Why did you believe it was God's will?

As a sign I had asked God to show my mom in a dream that he is the one for me.

 

3. How did you know later that it wasn't God's will?

He told me that he never asked God about it, and that he never had any assurance from him.  He just ran with emotions with out asking God to guide him.

 

4. How did this experience affect your faith?

I lost faith in God directing me and my mom.  As we both prayed a lot and asked God to guide us from the beginning.

 

5. Looking back at your experience, what were the mistakes you made in evaluating God's will?

I should have made sure from the beginning that he had prayed about it, and God directed him without doubt that this was the relationship for marriage.

 

6.  Today, how do you know if something is God’s will?

I ask God to reveal it to me directly, not to my mom, or friends, or any one else.  God has proven to give the very best to those who seek him.  I married the most wonderful man on April 16, 2005.  Both of us prayed and fasted together and no step was taken before we were both sure that it was from the Lord.   It was amazing.  I asked God for the most difficult vision to be given to me and it was given to both of us.  The vision was to see God take my hand and walk me in a path, and at the same time he would walk my husband to be.  So the Lord would be in the center holding each of our hands and walking us to what would turn to be an isle.  Then God would place our hands together.  God would stand before us and pray on us, then He would say, "whom I join, NO man can take apart".  And all of that happened in a slighty different way, but it came to pass in real life.  We are both thankful every day for God joining us together, we pray and read His word, and we are passionate about God, and then about each other.  He took care of us.  I cried to the Lord and He answered!  He is my only Father, and He proved to be the very best Father.

 

Name Withheld

USA

 

 

1. What was the thing about?

I thought that I was supposed to marry a guy.

 

2. Why did you believe it was God's will?

We seemed perfect for each other...I had felt completely comfortable in talking about planning our life...where we were going to live...about me moving to his city and finding a job.

 

3. How did you know later that it wasn't God's will?

I was concerned because my family completely disagreed with me marrying him. So I wanted to take a "break" and reconsider jumping so quick into marriage...And then I had to end things with him because he wouldn't accept waiting to get married. And the temper he had made me rethink he was the "right" one.

 

4. How did this experience affect your faith?

I felt disappointed that I couldn't see or know clear-cut what God's plan/will was.  I was disappointed in myself for not being able to discern between His will.  And I was disappointed because I couldn't understand why the omnipotent God didn't make His will clear and obvious enough for me to know it right away.

 

5. Looking back at your experience, what were the mistakes you made in evaluating God's will?

Jumping the gun and going forward and talking about marriage with the guy right away.

 

6.  Today, how do you know if something is God’s will?

I still find it hard to know if it is...but mostly I use the Bible's teachings to know.

 

Name Withheld

Canada

 

 

1. What was the thing about?

I met this guy on the internet and I thought it was God’s will to serve the Lord with him.

 

2. Why did you believe it was God's will?

I thought serving God was something good and pleasing to the Lord. But deep in my heart I knew it wasn’t his will, but somehow I was able to convince myself that it was God’s will.

 

3. How did you know later that it wasn't God's will?

I felt that my spiritual life started to weaken. Instead of letting the Lord being our focus, we started focusing on each other. I started to witness to others not because I cared for them but because I wanted to impress the guy.

 

4. How did this experience affect your faith?

I was disappointed it didn’t work out, but I was the one who ended the relationship because I felt it wasn’t God’s will because of the impact on my spiritual life.

 

5. Looking back at your experience, what were the mistakes you made in evaluating God's will?

Sometimes we use human logic to convince our mind that it is God’s will. Even, sometimes, we use biblical principles, such as it is good to serve the Lord, but our true motive is something else.

 

6.  Today, how do you know if something is God’s will?

If you feel peace in your heart when you pray. The Holy Spirit guides you.

 

Name Withheld

USA

 

 

    It was the early 90’s. I was a teenager still yet living in Egypt. I was new to the faith, and the newness here was not of the knowledge, I grow up in a Christian family, and I know every story in the Bible like the back of my hand. It was a newness of the presence of God, and of accepting the articles of his faith in my finite life. It was a couple of years since I started to take my first stumbling steps with him, and I was stumbling heavily.

 

    It was the father of my best friend Maher who got sick. Maher was a great young Christian who was living a devout life that I can witness to. He was my friend before I took my first steps with God, and he was a great relief, and help to me in struggling to cut loose old acquaintances and habits. Maher belonged to a Pentecostal congregation that he was so attached to.

 

    In contradiction to Maher, his father was a chain smoking, high pitch executive working for one of the baggiest banks in Egypt. You can see on him traces of young faith that faded with the stress of family life, busy business Intrigues. The doctor diagnosed him with lung cancer, and he was given six to eight month to live. Maher’s church elders declared that a miracle will happen, and God will heal the man as a witness to this congregation. At the beginning I did not subscribe to the idea. I guess peer presser, inexperience, both worldly, and spiritually, swayed me that “something” will happen, and that man will be seen someday on his feet and walking with us again. After all he is the head of a Christian household, and the sole bread provider to this decent God-fearing family. The prayers continued, with increased pitch. It became a quasi rallying point to some of these congregations’ members.

 

    In due time, the father was dead. There was a shock, and silence in this household. The father was the only provider, the mother never have to work, Maher was the sheltered youth that have to worry only about his school, social, and Church life. Now the cover has been lifted, every body was standing out in the cold. It was a stunning blow to Maher’s faith. He did believe that surely God will intervene to protect him, and he could not come to terms with why God so harshly treated him, and how awkward, and permanent his situation is. What Maher did not realize that my faith slipped too? Though I did not confess it, I did believe that God would do a favor to such fine youth. How couldn’t he? All of these questions started to struggle in my head, and a serious of doubt started to viscously attack me. I realized that I was shooting his will in the dark, let alone looking in the right direction.

 

    I will not talk of Maher’s further personal experience, because indeed a growth he grows in faith and statue. I am not sure was it the best way for him to progress in his pilgrimage, but I am sure it was God’s way and thus the best way. My family migrated to the US shortly after, and I hear from him every now and then. It was one of my first experiences with seeking God’s will, and it was a blunder. For me, it was a growth experience, one of a painful serious that, though painful, yet enlighten. I realized afterward that I could not discern God’s will. Peer pressure and familiar customs were shaping what God’s will is supposed to be, but God is not bound by human perceptions and temporal hopes. In the time of Jesus, the Jews were expecting a political liberator, on the style of Judah Maccabi. Instead God incarnate was walking among them riding on a donkey, not a chariot of fire. God’s will was manifested after all, but not in the way men of faith of the time imagine it. I know that God wants us to know his heart, but our human infirmities stands obstacles. Soon after I realized that I got a job at hand of accepting his grace in tuning my senses to his will.

 

        I do seek God’s will. That is his commandment. Understanding my limitations, my finite nature, I realize the limit of my vision, in contrast and focus. I was tough as an engineer that there is no perfect machine in this world, only more accurate machine vs. faulty machine. Yet seeking his will, walking humbly in his faith, with all of my missteps, and his grace sufficient, will deliver the purpose of salvation.

 

The counsel of Jehovah standeth for ever, the thoughts of his heart from generation to generation          Ps. 33:11

 

Name Withheld

USA

 

 

Several years ago, I was in love with a girl and thought it was God’s will to marry her, but things didn’t work out. This incident led me to think for five years about the subject of God’s will.

 

Before that incidence, I used to believe that God has a specific will concerning all choices, and I should follow and do his will. I believed it mattered to him what to study in college, which car I should buy, where I should live, and whom I should marry. In fact, I used to pray concerning every choice.

 

After that incidence, I spent lots of time thinking. My conclusion was not that I misunderstood God's will. It is not that I believed something to be God's will and then later no longer believed it was. The conclusion I came to is that the very beginning point of my enquiry was wrong. God doesn't have a will concerning specific choices. I don't ask him anymore "should I study this or that?"  "Should I go to this college or that?"

I no longer pray "who should I marry Lord?"...I am the one who chooses, and according to what I prefer and see best.

 

The more I checked and meditated about basic and first principles concerning God's will, I came to realize that the question is not at all what God wants, but rather about what I prefer. There is a deep-rooted self-protection lying underneath all this "seeking god's will" behavior. There is fear, on my side, fear for my own self and my own interests.

 

I firmly believe that God has a specific will concerning one thing and one thing only. He has a specific will concerning "moral choices". In other words, concerning the question of good and evil. I don't think it makes any difference where we live, what we study, or whom we marry. None of these choices have consequences that are that drastic. The only thing that matters is moral choices.

 

Once we move from the arena of "moral choices" to the arena of "other choices,” we are staggered to find that choices are equivalent in their value. Does it make a difference if I work as an engineer, do my work faithfully, benefit others, enjoy my work, get an income, and use it to help my self and family. Would it make any difference if I did the same as a physician? Yes there is a difference. The difference is how much I will like it and the consequences on me from it. God wants me to choose what will make me happier, but then I become the judge of that. Whether I pick to be a doctor or engineer is totally my choice, God has no specific will there. He just wants me to choose what I prefer in this case, and adhere to his moral principles in doing it. A doctor is just as good as an engineer, and all are needed.

 

The principle is staggering. I personally endorse the principle: "God sets his moral principles, and allows us to make our choices within that frame and to lead our life as valid."

 

I want to illustrate my point from another perspective. If I had a 30 years old son, and it was time for him to marry. What do I want to do? Do I want to choose for my son whom to marry, or do I want him to be mature enough to decide for his own? I want to teach him principles, and then whatever he chooses, he will know how to lead himself. I want him to be mature enough to know what to choose on his own, without any need to come and ask me. If he doesn’t know what to do, then me telling him will not be any good. I don't want him to choose because I told him. I want him to choose because he sees the wisdom of the choice. I don't want a passive reflection of me. I want a living free will that chooses because it made a valid judgment.

 

I believe that God's will is that his sons and daughters will grow up to the point where they can make their own choices, set their own preferences, pick their own choosing criteria. What he wants in them is the decision making capacity called "wisdom". He wants them to be able to choose on their own, and after they choose, fully on their own, he would look and say, "great choice... I am proud of you, you chose wisely"

 

God wants us to mature to his own image. He wants us to learn principles and have wisdom to be able to make choices. He wants us to see things, and judge them from a mind that has been enlightened and saturated by divine wisdom learnt through the years. If we cannot make the choice on our own, then we didn't learn yet his character and how He judges things.

 

Name Withheld

United States

 

 

What was the thing about?  Why did you believe it was God's will?

 

I once believed it was God’s will to marry someone. The Lord clearly spoke to me about it. It wasn’t a dream I dreamt that could have come from my subconscious. It wasn’t based on mere feelings of peace, although the peace was there and was experienced in its fullest measure. It wasn’t based on answered prayers, although many prayers were answered in a very powerful way. It wasn’t based on human logic and deductions, although the conclusion of any mental exercise always was it was God’s will. It was simply a clear case of God communicating to me in ways I had no control over.  As of today, I am still 100% sure that the Lord has spoken regarding this matter. I have no doubt about it.

 

How did you know later that it wasn't God's will?  How did this experience affect your faith?

 

The Lord, however, closed the door. The person wasn’t interested in me. 

 

Why would God lead me to believe that it was His will and then later close the door? I think one of the main reasons is that in the past if a man comes to me I usually could find a mistake in him and then say it is not God’s will and that’s it. This was the first time, I was able to look at myself and see my mistakes, and I found many weeds that need to be removed. I needed to be more humble, wiser, etc. God knew that I needed to love this man in order to learn important lessons. I learned many precious lessons from what happened that I couldn’t have learned otherwise.

 

In addition, in the past, if a man approached me, I was able to pray and God would reveal his will to me easily. He would speak clearly and directly. But this time, it was completely different. In all past relationships, God clearly said, “No.” But this time, God didn’t give me the clear “No” that I desperately needed to hear. Why wouldn’t he communicate with me in a clear fashion the way he always did? Why couldn’t he just say, “No”?  I learned that God transcends me and that his ways are not the same as mine. God still surprises me and he teaches me new things everyday. I learned that God is still in control. He still speaks. God is capable of talking to me clearly regarding this relationship, but he chooses not to. Yes, it was God, who this time, chose not to communicate with me in the way I wanted to. And he must have had a reason for it. I learned to trust God even if I don’t understand or see things the way I would like to.

 

I think also the Lord opened my eyes for a big problem in my life. I learned that my greatest problem in my life is lack of faith. And when I asked the Lord for forgiveness regarding my lack of faith, the Lord answered many other prayers regarding the ministry. The lack of faith was slowing down the answer of prayers.

I think the Lord tests our faith to see if we really believe in his love, his guidance and his sovereignty. We need to trust in God and believe that he has a plan for our lives, He cares about every detail of our life, and He is in control, even when things don’t make sense. It is sad to stop believing in God’s love, wisdom, guidance, and sovereignty as a result of a single experience where one was confused about God’s will.

 

This experience brought me closer to God. I am now more certain than ever that God has a specific plan for my life. I know that he loves me. I know he cares so much about me. This experience made me meditate on my life, and the Lord reminded me of all the promises he gave me and of his faithfulness and of his love toward me. I really do believe that God has a plan for my life. He alone closes and opens doors. He commands all things. The Bible clearly teaches this.

 

Looking back at your experience, what were the mistakes you made in evaluating God's will?

 

I think one of the mistakes is trying hard to find God’s will regarding marriage rather than enjoying the Lord, and trusting that he will lead in his own timing. The greatest mistake is to lose your joy while trying to find God’s will. God should be the object of our emotions and love. Only Christ deserves our time, our emotions, our feelings, etc.

 

Another mistake is to think that if God allowed something then it is his will all the way through. For instance, it was God’s will to allow me to have emotions toward this brother because he wanted me to learn precious lessons, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it was his will to marry him. I need to learn to accept God’s will and follow it on a daily basis. I need to wait upon the Lord and take directions step at a time. I should stop over analyzing things. Over analyzing is a sign of not trusting God. I think the Christian life is simple: just love and trust God. He will hold your hands and guide you.

 

I am glad God allowed me to go through this because he loves me.  This experience showed me that I really need God’s guidance more than ever. It taught me how to trust in God more and more. It made me experience the love of God, the greatness of God, the faithfulness of God, the awesomeness of God. Yes, this is God’s will: to love Christ from one’s heart, mind, ability, and to be consumed by his love, and not by anything else.

 

Today, how do you know if something is God’s will?

 

I know that God will talk to me and talk to me clearly. The only thing is that I need to focus on him and continue to be happy in him. The will of God is not more important than God and the promises of God are not more important than the promise giver and keeper.

Praise the Lord for his love for me. He always teaches me new lessons and makes me more like Christ. My prayer is that I will always be in his will, which is to love Christ and be more and more like him.

 

Name Withheld

United States